Remember those moments? When you wondered what others think? You know, the ones where you decided to try something a little different. Maybe you wore a bold new outfit, made a slightly unconventional decision at work? Or dared to post a thought-provoking opinion on LinkedIn. And then, the anxiety crept in. That nagging worry about what everyone else would think.

Did they notice? Did they judge? Or did they approve? You might have even felt the urge to subtly fish for compliments, to ask everyone if they’d seen your new look, or if they agreed with your LinkedIn post. You wanted reassurance, validation, a sign that your actions hadn’t gone unnoticed, hadn’t been deemed “wrong.”

The truth: nobody will notice

But here’s a liberating truth: people are usually far too preoccupied with their own lives to give your actions the intense scrutiny you imagine. They’re caught up in their own thoughts, their own worries, their own little dramas. We have a tendency to place ourselves at the center of our own universe, a natural human inclination. However, we then make the mistake of projecting that centeredness onto others,. Believing they perceive us with the same level of focus. This is what psychologists call the “spotlight effect,” the exaggerated belief that others are constantly observing and evaluating us.

It’s a powerful illusion, and it’s built entirely on a story your mind is telling you. A story that amplifies your self-consciousness and distorts your perception of reality. Think about it: if you post regularly on LinkedIn, try a simple experiment. Ask a few people what you posted earlier this week. Chances are, they won’t have a clue. Heck, even you might struggle to recall the specifics. This isn’t because they don’t care about you; it’s because they’re human, just like you, with their own mental chatter to contend with.

You have permission to breathe

So, what does this all boil down to? It means you have permission to breathe. Not to be caught up in what others could think of you. To release the tension in your shoulders and the knot in your stomach. It means you can stop second-guessing every move you make. You can wear that outfit, make that decision, post that opinion, even if you know it won’t be universally liked.

Because here’s the kicker: your choices, your actions, your appearance, they don’t fundamentally change how anyone sees you. People’s perceptions changes constantly, influenced by their own biases and experiences. And frankly, they’re not spending nearly as much time thinking about you as you think they are.

Free yourself from the illusion of the spotlight. Do what you want to do, say what you want to say, and make choices that align with your values, even if they ruffle a few feathers. Because at the end of the day, your peace of mind is far more valuable than the fleeting opinions of others.

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