My life used to be a minefield of what ifs. A constant, nagging internal monologue that questioned every decision and imagined the worst possible outcomes. What if my team thinks I’m incompetent? What if I lose my job? What if, in a moment of cosmic irony, the earth burns up before I even get a chance to retire? It sounds a bit dramatic writing it out, but that was my internal soundtrack. From one soul-sucking ‘what if’ to the next, I was trapped in a cycle of fear.

Do you know that feeling? It’s like a constant hum of low-grade anxiety in the background, draining your energy and making it almost impossible to focus on anything else. Moments of indecision followed by bursts of procrastination, all fuelled by those relentless ‘what ifs’. Perhaps you can relate.

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The shift to ‘what is’

At some point I realised that this wasn’t a sustainable way to live, let alone lead. I was constantly chasing ghosts, fighting hypothetical scenarios that might never come to pass. That’s when I began to explore a different approach, a simple yet profound shift to ‘what is’.

“What is is about grounding yourself in the present moment. It’s about acknowledging what is actually happening right now – a challenge at work, a problem to be solved, an experience to be had. No more getting lost in the maze of imaginary catastrophes. Instead, I began to meet each situation head-on, accepting it without resistance. Sounds simple, right?

And in theory it is. I just acknowledge and accept. That’s it.

This acceptance isn’t about resignation or giving up. It’s about seeing clearly, without the distortion of fear and anxiety. And from that clarity I found I could act more effectively. I began to sleep through the night. The constant worrying about things that might happen (but probably wouldn’t) faded into the background. These days you will find me happier and healthier.

The journey and the choice

I’m not going to pretend that this was an overnight transformation. Letting go of these ingrained ‘what if‘ patterns took time and effort. It was a journey, and there were definitely moments when I slipped back into old habits. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that it’s possible.

And the difference it makes is incredible. More presence in my daily life. More clarity in my choices. More energy to focus on what really matters. It is an easier, more fulfilling way to live and lead. It fits perfectly with my philosophy of ‘Leading Beyond the Self’ – moving beyond the fears of the ego into a space of authentic presence. Leading from that space is so much more rewarding. Not just for me, but for everyone around me.

So where are you today? Still caught up in the ‘what ifs’ or ready to explore the freedom of ‘what is’? Which choice will you make?

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