Have you ever felt that guilty feeling at work, even when you’ve done nothing wrong? That feeling of unease, of not being productive enough, of somehow failing to meet expectations? Even when those expectations are unclear or unreasonable?

Years ago, I found myself in a similar situation. I was working in a department undergoing a major restructuring. From one day to the next, all our projects were halted. Our budgets were frozen. And we were left in a state of limbo, with no clear direction or purpose.

Day after day, I would arrive at the office early. Eager to contribute, only to find myself with nothing meaningful to do. I couldn’t do any work. I had no projects. And yet, I felt this overwhelming sense of guilt, a feeling that I was a failure, that I wasn’t doing enough.

A feeling of shame came along with guilt. A feeling of others judging me. That my colleagues and superiors were looking down on me for not being productive. I constantly anticipated someone walking in and questioning my presence. I wondered if someone would demand to know why the company paid me.

But the reality was, there was nothing to show. Managed had stopped all ongoing projects and we awaited further instructions. The situation was entirely beyond my control.

The weight of unrealistic expectations

This experience taught me a valuable lesson about the burden of unrealistic expectations. And also the importance of recognising our own agency in the workplace. Why should we feel guilt or shame for circumstances that we cannot control? Why internalise the responsibility for a situation that was nor our choice?

It’s easy to fall into the trap of self-blame. Especially in a work culture that often prioritises productivity and output above all else. We can internalise the message that our worth is tied to our productivity, leading to feelings of guilt and shame when we’re not constantly “doing” or “achieving.”

But the truth is, productivity does not determine our worth. We are valuable simply for being who we are, regardless of our output or achievements.

Reclaiming your power

Looking back, I realize that I had the power to choose how I responded to that situation. I could have chosen to:

• Accept the situation: Acknowledge that the lack of work was not my fault and that I was not responsible for the circumstances.
• Focus on self-care: Use the downtime to recharge, learn new skills, or explore personal interests.
• Communicate my needs: Talk to my manager about my concerns and explore potential opportunities for contributing in other ways.
• Set boundaries: Create clear boundaries between work and personal time to prevent guilt and anxiety from spilling over into my life outside of work.

The importance of a supportive workplace

This experience also highlighted the importance of a supportive workplace culture, where employees feel safe to express their concerns and where their well-being is prioritised. It’s the responsibility of employers to create a work environment where employees feel valued and respected, regardless of the circumstances.

moving forward

If you’re currently experiencing feelings of guilt or shame at work, remember that you’re not alone. Many people struggle with these emotions, especially in demanding or uncertain work environments.

Here are a few things you can do:

Set boundaries: Create clear boundaries between work and personal time to protect your well-being.

Challenge your thoughts: Ask yourself if your feelings of guilt or shame are based on realistic expectations or on internalized pressure.

Communicate your needs: Talk to your manager or a trusted colleague about your concerns.

Seek support: Consider reaching out to a coach, therapist, or mentor for guidance and support.

Prioritize your well-being: Make time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul.

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