What were your thoughts when you read that title just now? Did you know there is a significant difference in saying “I feel stressed” rather than “I am stressed”? It’s a subtle shift, but it can have a profound impact on how you experience and manage stress in your life.
Think about it: language shapes our reality. The words we use, both internally and externally, have the power to influence our emotions, our beliefs, and our actions. And when it comes to stress, the way we talk about it can make all the difference.
Acknowledging your thoughts and emotions is the first step towards understanding and managing them. When you say “I feel stressed,” it recognizes stress as a temporary response to a situation. This simple linguistic choice can help you change your relationship with stress. It will make you realize that stress is not a fixed part of your identity but an experience that passes and that can be managed. It’s about putting distance between you and stress, rather than allowing it to define you.
When you recognise stress as a temporary state, you open up the possibility of exploring strategies to beat it. Stress is not a constant in our lives. It comes and goes, like clouds passing in the sky. And that’s an important learning everyone needs to make. Because it is a topic that affects all of us.
Don’t create a personal identification
If you say “I’m stressed,” you create a personal identification and you make it part of who you are. This can lead to thinking that it’s not possible to do anything about it, as you may see it as a given fact. It’s like you’re claiming ownership of the stress, making it a permanent fixture in your life. This can make it very hard to put distance between you and stress.
Consider the impact of these two simple phrases:
- “I am stressed.”
- “I feel stress.”
The first statement is a declaration of identity. It’s as if you’re saying, “Stress is who I am.” The second statement acknowledges an experience. It’s a temporary state, a feeling that is present but not permanent. This small change in wording can have a huge impact on your ability to put distance between you and stress.
This distinction is crucial because it highlights the power of perspective. When we identify with stress, we limit our ability to change it. We trap ourselves in a cycle of negativity and helplessness. But when we recognise stress as a temporary experience, we empower ourselves to take control.
So, next time you find yourself in a stressful moment, try and say (or think), “I feel stressed.” Notice the subtle shift in your perception. Observe how it feels different from saying “I am stressed.” This simple exercise can be a powerful tool for putting distance between you and stress and reclaiming your sense of control and well-being.
Not sure how to do this? Let’s talk.
More science on the topic of stress by Harvard University.
