Listening skills – one of my favourite topics. One that we all should pay attention to and practice. Nothing can improve our communication as easily as better listening skills.

Yet, with so much going on around us and in our minds, it’s rather hard to focus on what the other person is telling us. The same goes for trying not to interrupt or say our own opinions instead of reflecting on the said.

That’s where active listening plays a pivotal role. Active listening is the act of listening, observing non-verbal messages and paraphrasing. Paraphrasing is the act of restating what you heard.

Practicing active listening can help you strengthen your work connections and enhance how you relate to your clients. Feeling heard and understood is a natural need people have.

Here’s two exercises for you and your team.

1 – Listening until it’s your turn to speak

For this you need a partner for the conversation. You can also do this as a team and have the team members observe the conversation and take notes. This way you can get valuable extra feedback.

The first person speaks uninterrupted for about 4-5 minutes. It is important not to interrupt. Let them finish. Once they are done speaking, count at least to 10 (in your mind) before you say anything.

Resisting the urge to immediately share your opinion can be challenging. Now that it’s your turn, repeat in your own words what you have heard the other person say. This is called “paraphrasing”.

Give them a chance to clarify. If you need to ask clarifying questions yourself, try asking “how, what or why” questions that allow for an open answer. Avoid any questions the other person could answer with “yes / no”.

Once you have paraphrased and clarified, summarise the conversation in your own words.

If there have been observers, give them a chance for their feedback now. This is especially beneficial for non-verbal cues, like checking your watch or glancing at the door, which could seem distracting or convey boredom.

Exchange roles or repeat. This exercise will help you better understand the importance of good listening skills.

2 – Selective listening – Group exercise

A great and fun exercise you can do with your team. This example highlights how we make the assumption of having heard something based on context. Without even confirming its actual expression.

Pick a theme and then come up with 15 words that fit this theme. This can be work related or from every day life. i.e. think about essentials for baking (flower, water, eggs, milk etc.). Read the list out loud to the group and repeat a few selected words (e.g. mention milk 3 times).

Allow the group to jot down all the words they heard and can recall. Then, compare these notes to your own list. It’s highly probable that you’ll come across words that you didn’t include but were assumed to have been spoken due to their relevance to the subject.

Discuss in the group what this means for your business and work and how it effects your communication. Listening skills can help anyone in your team.