In one way or another, everyone strives for more happiness. Be it in your personal life or at work. But sometimes it feels like happiness is completely out of reach. And this is how to get unstuck:
If you’re stuck in a bad job situation or drowning in work, it can seem impossible to imagine a better place to work. Or a job that feels like joy in the first place.
The thing is: And I say this because I see it with my friends as well as with my clients that come to my leadership coaching sessions. No one around you will or can change this situation for you.
Your department won’t suddenly have different goals. Your own manager won’t suddenly have less to do.
The only one who can really make a lasting change is you. Stuck in a bad job? Change jobs. And I understand that saying this is not going to make it any easier. And I know there is no way for me to fully understand your unique situation.
But what I do know is that it’s the only way out. I know people who dream that their current job is finally over. They’d rather let go than be stuck in it any longer.
But it’s not over until you make it over. And that is the hardest part. Finding the energy to go out and look for a job or make a change in your life. That can be really hard.
But once you do it, it will be really rewarding. That’s when the weight finally comes off. That’s when you see that positive things can happen to you.
What can you do if you don’t know how to get unstuck?
The most important thing is not to feel like you’re a prisoner of your situation. Because you’re not. Remember that you always have a choice. Even if it means leaving your job.
The tricky part is not to get lost in your own thoughts. Especially when you are alone. It’s very easy to focus on what you don’t know or what you don’t have and not open up to the possibilities around you. It’s also easy to believe that a potential solution needs to be complicated, or that it needs to be an extra task to what you’re already doing.
Take the example of wanting to change jobs. If you are very unhappy with your current job, there is a chance that you don’t know what else you could be doing, and it becomes a risk that this is all you can think of. This makes you feel like you have no options, and because you don’t know what else there is or could be, you feel even more stuck in your current role and unhappiness.
It can be helpful to seek help from a professional. Friends and family are always great, of course. But they are also slightly biased. They mean well, but are likely to give you advice or unsolicited help that is not useful in this situation.
A mentor or leadership coaching services, on the other hand, can offer you an outside view that is not clouded by any judgement or “pre-knowledge” of you and your unique circumstances.
Talking to a professional can literally open up your more creative side of thinking. They can show you how to get unstuck. And you can use your more creative thinking to see options and possibilities again.
Feelings that may come up
It can be helpful to be aware of certain feelings you may have and understand what triggers them. These might be
- Feeling blocked (i.e. even going on a job board feels impossible)
- Feeling stuck (I’m stuck here, no one seems to help me)
- Helplessness (I don’t know what to do)
- Lack of ideas (I don’t even know what I want anymore)
Sometimes they come from underlying limiting beliefs (can even be things like ‘I will never give up’, ‘everyone else has things under control’, ‘only hard work matters’). Understanding these beliefs and where they come from can be a huge benefit and help you unravel the problems in front of you. If you can do that, you can start working on solutions.
And I have no doubt that you can. Now you have a better idea on how to get unstuck.
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