Summary
The desire to be successful is universal. But success is not only professional one, it can also be more happiness or spending more time with your kids. One way to approach challenges and goals is by asking better questions (or asking questions to begin with). This post gives you two approaches how questions can make a difference in your life or in your career.
I took a few days off from writing on my blog. Mainly to have an actual break and to give myself time to go back to reflecting on why I wanted to become a coach in first place.
There are various reasons clients come to work with me. From stress to imposter syndrome to wanting to make better decisions. In the end it all comes down to wanting to improve, wanting to be more successful.
More success doesn’t mean more money, a promotion and what not. It may as well mean going through life happier. Understanding how to deal with challenges and issues at work with more ease. It may also mean understanding what really matters to someone.
It’s as unique and individual as every person is.
Sometimes one has to go back to the drawing board to see the big picture again. Sometimes you need an “outsider” to help you do that.
The right question makes all the difference
In every case, asking the right questions is what matters a lot.
Take the examples of someone who is under stress and says “I am stressed” and now wonder “how do I make that stress disappear?”.
It makes sense or may even sound like the logical step to take. But – the problem with this question is that it leads you to take yet another action. So when you already feel stress, it is unlikely that you will have the capacity to do even more.
A better approach with this would be
- reframe stress by saying “This situation makes me feel stressed” (as it is not you, but a temporary thought or response in you)
- this approach now let’s you dissect that moment of stress. It opens up the possibility to ask “what about this situation is making you feel stress?”
You can also take the approach of starting with why:
- why is this situation making you feel stress? followed by
- what if you changed xyz, what would be different?
This way you can play around with the questions for a while until you get to the bottom of it or understand what you really need to change in order to feel less stress.
Once you have this, you can move to implement a solution, again by asking yourself a question, this time with how:
- how can you ensure that this solution can also help you in the future?
This was a quick description of using why, what if, and how in the context of solving problems. You could apply the same with business problems. As it’s not only in one to one coaching settings where asking questions may play a crucial role.
In fact, asking questions may even lead to bigger success. It can lead to challenging the status quo and to seek better outcomes for the business and for its people.
How businesses could benefit from more questions
Imagine you’re invited to a meeting with several of your peers. As the meeting gets underway, you begin to wonder whether your time will be well spent attending. The information you received before the meeting was not very convincing. The other attendees are your peers.
You’re faced with a choice:
- Speak up: “Why are we doing this?”
- Just say “It’s great to be here, thanks for inviting me”.
You choose option two because it’s easier, and since everyone else is not speaking, it seems to be “just you”.
The host looks around the room and notices the lack of inquiry from the meeting participants: “All these capable people and no one is asking if we need to change or improve the approach. Looks like I made the right decision.” Status quo is accepted.
But what if you had made a different choice?
“Why are we doing this?” might not seem like the most popular question at first. But it could have opened the door to a better outcome.
You could have moved from
- “Why” are we… – to
- “What if” we… – to
- “How” do we…
It’s hard to speak up or challenge the status quo in places with strict hierarchies, or for fear of looking incompetent or like you are challenging superiors or colleagues. In a room full of silent people, you may also be less inclined to question things.
But a room full of silent people is not going to move the needle much either. There’s a difference between wanting to be successful or being a cog in the system.
Every question asked has the potential to spark change.
It’s not about challenging someone else, it’s about driving progress, saving time, solving problems, and continuous improvement.
What questions will you ask today?
Connect with me on LinkedIn.
